delicious like a cupcake =3

this will be the last, and i shall i let it go

2012-01-30T02:25:00.000+08:00

just because i care..

therefore i shut up n stop whining about how imperfect my life is..

i thought i do not need that attention anymore

ive grown up enough to at least try handling things on my own

y cant ppl get it?

and what do you want from me?

y cant i keep things simple?

so i guess its time...

to take another Evelyn's advice

nah.. that's alright.. no biggie n take it easy :)

bitter.sweet

2011-12-24T20:59:00.001+08:00

i learn that

we shall never walk away..

if you cannot bare with the risk that..

there might not be any invitation back in anymore..

so stay,

laugh as you may
cry if you wish

@Melb, Dec 2011

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year

shakira's illegal

2011-12-21T21:53:00.000+08:00

a song for all the broken heart

yes i agree it should be illegal to deceive a women's heart
ive been there..
it leaves a scar that will haunt me forever..
but also at the same time made me realise i have so much more to appreciate right now

may all the broken heart find hope like i do

the balance

2011-12-20T20:35:00.000+08:00

from the day u've decided to hand your heart to someone else, u give yourself a chance to be happy.. but also bound to get hurt..

If im still a student

2011-12-19T19:14:00.000+08:00

i'll be having my holiday now
i'll be writing my resume n look forward for interviews (stupid)
i'll still be in Melb with Apple my <3 but so poor we wont know how to survive.. haha!

i'll be living my life without commitments
not even the least commitments of taking care of myself =S

cant deny being irresponsible has its advantage as long as ur skin is thick huh?

gahhhh.......

2011-12-09T09:40:00.000+08:00

wow! everyone around me is going for holiday! :):)
like wat fv says, we r all enjoying holiday in different countries..
texting each other to for safe trip n all
happiest day ever? :)

strange feeling

2011-12-08T00:03:00.000+08:00

err.. where is all my LDR posts?
first LDR post
second LDR post
no more!

i planned to "document" it all here initially.. who knows it was only hard for the first few weeks
then it gets better
and better
instead, missing you greater
and greater...

i guess the main reason is that i tend to keep personal matter for my own
and other than that i somehow realise u have never left!
:)

im not sure what i have done for you to feel the same way too
but i can never forget my toughest time in the AJ estate for work
and how you juggle my mental eff up complains and your lonely life there

looking back and honestly speaking, getting selfish of your own interest is the biggest no no in a LDR
*counting fingers* all our fights start from there..
while the rest is because we basically feel helpless for each other..
n then we got fed up and impatient haha!
sad to admit, we also need to take the fact that we couldnt depend on each other as much as a normal couple could be..
much less expectation.. much more effort.. and always grateful..

im no saint okay?
i talk loud cause its only for 6 months hahaha..
*cheater**

well, now i can say im 1 and half day, 8 hours away from you :)
im having this strange feeling
of being afraid and yet excited
cant help to wonder if this 6 months lapse would **possibly cause me to not be able to recognise our affection to each other so quickly
haha..

Melbourne, here i come! (again)

sorry dude, i wont b needing u anymore.. soon =P

逞强的后遗症

2011-11-29T23:37:00.000+08:00

今天的我。有种说不出原因的闷闷不乐。
原来＂没关系＂也有限期。

很希望你可以很快地再看见方向;
期待着下一步。

romantic.. fail? haha!

2011-11-28T02:41:00.000+08:00

as we were talking about having Exs..
n how weird it is to have a "stranger again" in our lives
so i asked him,
if he can ever imagine me turning into his "stranger again" as well..

a big answer "NO!" which was fair enough

followed by "it will only happen under 1 condition, in our next life!"

which sets me in a romantic mood n so i asked "then will you come after me again?"

him "maybe?"

me.... -___-

him "i cant promise, cuz what if in our next life you'll be some China girl n i'll be some Philipino dude.. then its impossible for us to be together again right?"

..........

oh well.. this is him..
only if u could understand y it is extra comforting for me.. haha!
:)

says it all

2011-11-20T13:38:00.000+08:00

fun quests on the table @Ben's

a thankful heart

2011-11-14T01:42:00.000+08:00

for a person who accepted my mistake
no matter how foolish it is

i have no idea how to show my gratitude
because rather than punishment ive got a lesson instead

promise i'll grow up!

2011-11-12T12:36:00.001+08:00

女人绝招，
感想附加大头照，
必定有人看到！
看来我也要学学：D

2011-11-11T10:16:00.000+08:00

so true :)
funny when you're dead people start listening

slap my blur face

2011-11-10T20:42:00.000+08:00

n say.. good morning?

i almost wear slipper to work today
forgot to change before i got off the car
until my senior pointed it out as we were walking into the office building already
so embarrassing -______-
but is it quite a cliche?
i bliv this must happen to most of the girls..
or mayb guys too! haha!

this means i have another good reason for a cup of coffee today =D

lemmi try

2011-10-30T18:37:00.000+08:00

1113

stop reading my blog or text me this "yes i read your blog, u got me"

haha

pocket sized pict 3

2011-10-23T23:46:00.000+08:00

I think i am lazy to blog already

matchy colour

bimbo graduate

the loveliest weekends i had with the loviest frens

oh.. flying curry puff!

bought him a shirt =D

truly, a bless

unhealthy yummy stuffs

choc doggy whom i shared my dinner bun with

kinda reminds me of Bobby, he should be in heaven now :)

the kind of breakie i love

only if i had time to eat slowly instead

this is y weather forecast is..... kinda unecessary in Malaysia..

rain . rain . wash away my pain .

lemon biscuit :) dad took our (me n mummy) order haha!

blush

BLUEKKKKK

Life is a torture chamber itself

2011-10-20T23:58:00.000+08:00

like its never ending..
as long as u're still breathing..

i cant live like this anymore

pocket sized pict 2

2011-10-13T00:19:00.000+08:00

fav cup, fav drinks on my fav day

parcel arrived

as a gift to myself

if you could take away my pain like you promise

& create the dream that every girl needs

dont ever let me down

power puff outside

coffee inside

mother love in sight

追。赶。输。累

2011-10-01T03:23:00.000+08:00

也许我不怕吃苦
但不能让我同一时间地感到一文不值。。。

人间地域
就是你很清楚明白
连死了算了
也解决不了烦恼

我真的崩溃了

哭着吃晚餐
用一个人不优雅的可怜
换回个释放和抱怨的空间
感到可悲。却满足，欣慰。

祈求上天给我解脱

P/S: 很庆幸这坎坷的路上有你
你不在
但我并不寂寞

pocket sized pict

2011-09-24T14:26:00.000+08:00

....due to depressing week ahead n behind,
im out of words.

cause.....

i dowanna complain or tell the world about it, in exchange of sympathy..
learn that this is life and i got the best out of worst

do miss home more than time in National Service

i'd rather look at things that used to make me happy

behind the scene

2011-09-17T18:57:00.000+08:00

sometimes, u can just read from ppl's faces..
things that they're not fond of..
sometimes the look says it all..

yes you can save the effort..
cause ppl often dont give a damn..

you need to understand when its just a show,
it your duty to complete it if you're already in it.

pretty but ugly inside.

thank you, take a bow till the curtain goes down.

coffee . love

2011-08-30T00:01:00.000+08:00

对你的爱
像咖啡
从小就不明白妈怎么会爱上这杯饮料
一开始对它的印像，只有苦。
后来我却爱上了它的味道
浓浓的，香香的。闻一闻开始怀疑我的想法。它，真的是苦的吗？

爱咖啡的人，还记得你喝的第一杯咖啡吗？
是为了什么而喝的。
考试开夜车？
就纯粹试一试？
还是被你另一半影响？

我，在爱上咖啡之前。
没泡过一杯属于我自己的咖啡。
可能吗？
哈哈！
我都偷喝我妈的！
然后慢慢问她我可以喝一杯咖啡吗？她也就教我怎么泡它。
然后就无法自拔：）

到我遇见了你。
还记得你带我去那家咖啡馆，品尝杯上等的咖啡。也过了愉快的一天。
也曾经帮我在7-11泡那廉价的咖啡。亲手提给我，很贴心地加了两包半的糖。就因为我说两包不够而三包却太甜。
全都为了我。
然后，你竟然为我去学煮咖啡了！！

我不明白，我怎么会爱上咖啡，怎么会爱上你。
但我知道，那爱很单纯，值得让我继续：）

「表面上是苦，但如果你愿意，用另外一个角度去看它，它其实深深地隐藏着它的好。只被＂你＂看到。」

@ Brother Baba Budan, July2010.

wL's agonizingly boring & simple thoughts

2011-08-21T08:24:00.000+08:00

how you live is by choice, we cannot control things that happened around us.
which consequently,
we could feel sad but some choose to feel sad forever for the same damn thing,
we could feel happy but some choose to forget and ask for the impracticable.
if you realize that, acceptance and attitude changes everything.

make up dilemma

2011-08-08T22:53:00.001+08:00

if u dont do it ppl call u lazy... no manners...

if u do it as just a lil touch up ppl say it makes no difference

if u do it perfectly then ppl say wah da fock so thick and u're deceiving

damn

when will ppl can ever be satisfied?

T_T

poor us girls who were born with average looks okay?

oh n im so worried about my hair :(
the new hair cut is nice but its just not easy to maintain since the last time i straighten my hair was almost a year ago edi........
i cant bare to comb my hair nice nice every morning lehhhhh..
drawback of going to good but inconsiderate hair dresser
sighs.......

short-fused

2011-08-07T19:44:00.003+08:00

2 person quarrel, 4 people heartache.

is what i learnt.

i may be immature and intolerant but at least i realize this.

i used to tell him the same thing when the same thing happened to him as well

n im so glad he's there to calm me down n remind me of what ive said when i actually need to hear it

<3 *emotional* its like u've never left. :)

2011-08-04T20:57:00.000+08:00

when time is limited, u really need to prioritise.
but what u want lose its meaning once u havta ask for it.

its... sunday... already....

2011-07-31T02:30:00.000+08:00

n i look like crap now T_T
oh how if my first day of work cant be perfect?

what if im late?

leaving home 6:30 in the morning is insaneeeee..

oh beauty sleep no more~~

n i still have so much to do!!!!
my gosh *turn n look at my wardrobe........*
pile of old clothes on the floor..
everything unorganised!! either half done or NOT done.............

i know i talk like im so damn old already, but...

2011-07-26T02:18:00.000+08:00

it is nice to look back once in a while

of the journey we've been through..

we see the changes in our life,

what we used to be,

how we used to behave..

it is a great reminder to ourselves..

not to give up

not to fall for the wrong one

love those who loves you

& appreciate before its too late

those are the things that makes us rich....

and so damn sure, we've become a better person.

学会珍惜

2011-07-21T00:58:00.001+08:00

微笑地翻看着旧照片
好美
我怎么都忘了。。

而尽然在想像
若当时我们可以预测未来。牵着手，会是怎样。

事实，可是比想像复杂。

当时的你，我，只是个意外的邂逅。
=]

insomnia

2011-07-12T05:12:00.002+08:00

is the bitch.

but erm.. who to blame?
somehow i managed to slowly screw my sleeping time back to the awkward stage.. again.
consequences of living in a life without the reason to wake up for..
some call this a bless..
睡到自然醒
well scr*w you. i dont want this.
easy to say for those who've had their job secured and commence by Aug
but not me!
job interview this thurs though.. wish me luck.. i dont even know what i need to prepare =S
its not gonna be in a phrase where u can describe which involve the word "cake" and "peanut"

im stressed.. out of nothing?
maybe not.
its the peer pressure.

results too.. just the other day i had this "incredible" dream
that i fail my only paper n scored a 49 marks out of 50
while ALL of my frens pass the damn paper and happily talking about their graduation
and in that pathetic dream i felt so terrible and keep on reminding myself of what ive done wrong in that exam..
or what ive done insufficient that doesnt deserve me a pass.
its torturious.
here comes the best
i then tried to help myself up, comfort myself.
say its no big deal, failure have been my friend and look, i didnt give up!
it was only 1 mark
i was unlucky
then someone told me the passing rate is actually 55 (wteff)
make me feel even smaller.
the end of my stupid dream.
worst part is, in reality, i knew i didnt do well in this exam..
i have nil confidence.

maybe this year is incredibly bad for rabbits?
and i already have this fear in my mind
everything wasnt smooth even on the few days before exams
events that cause my emotion unstable id say..
such as......... i scolded the stupid sunway guard and really feel like swingging my fist hard to land on his face
because they make me park at the damn elephant walk!
ok i dont wanna go further about this.........
its in the past.

car accident.
almost.... half of my fren got into car accident?
from minor to major.. they're almost unavoidable!
i even have this crazy idea of going to play bumper car u know?
bang whatever/whoever u want in the safe zone n there goes our bad luck
not on the road pls......
yea yea call me superstitious i dont care.

tell me i over-think myself.
i dont know

insomnia IS a bitch!

loud n clear

2011-07-06T17:05:00.001+08:00

dont mean to sounds desperate but just to be honest,
im currently : lost in the sense of direction.

trapped.
i need to feel useful again, contribute, hold certain degree of responsibility.

i need a job, by August!

its harder than i think it is

2011-06-30T02:01:00.000+08:00

just like ur stressful life there
i'll expect more ups n downs between us
im willing to accept it
n i know its worth it to go through everything

because i will try to see things u've done right to make me happy
but also be brave to fall down and i'll get myself up
walk proudly with the scar n i know u'll be there to meet me at the destination we promised

from now onwards
i'll be brave
i'll look forward for december 13.
:)

and to celebrate the day u become a degree holder
without any help but ur own hard work
the proudness that u deserve which i will share <3

LDR

2011-06-25T11:18:00.005+08:00

on the morning i woke up knowing that i wont be making plans with him

like what we did for the past 3 months

exciting plans, good plans, boring plans, loving plans, family plans etc.....

whatever it is it will be okay cuz we know we'll be seeing each other

as expected,
but still makes me sad

i feel it more this time
this long distance relationship im in
is real..

but on this particular morning i also woke up sniffing bear bear's head with a mild CK perfume smell he left behind
i felt so glad that we had that 3 months
because the bear bear happened within that period
there are more things to lose without it :)
(which i wont be mentioning here)

i'll be tough..
n wait to redeem my super early bday present :P

now i'll be loving myself while he's away

next right up...
cooking myself a good lunch <3

i truly believe

2011-06-23T01:39:00.000+08:00

that "we can only love once in our life time"
n if it doesnt last, we can never love again like the way we did..
even when we manage to move on to another relationship.........

(i second that as when my sis was telling me about it.....)

and you wouldnt know it until u're in it
you wouldnt appreciate it until u know u've lost it

we may take a life time to figure out what's real and what's not

but some of us just choose to love n hope for the best
hope that thats the love that we're destined to have, that once for the life time..
we're already in it..

2011-06-12T23:08:00.000+08:00

the scariest thing about skytrek extreme challenge was

u dont know what's next -_____-
what to expect.....

u cant even see the end of the flying fox
and with that height it just doesnt help u to want to find out about that
bloody hell.......

stamina is definitely my limitation.......

i didnt get to finish the course though :(
the rain came pouring n its just too dangerous to continue
i cant even open my eyes then..

im not sure if we're consider unlucky, or actually the other way round =P
LOL

exam stress

2011-06-07T23:03:00.001+08:00

im so cranky now!!!!
stress is what it is..
im angry with anything i cant bliv it myself
woshhhh.. crazy women here -____- stay away from me!

anyway,
i long for the day where exam's over
worry free, question tackle free, number free, calculation free, theory free, evaluation free, college foyer free, everything free lah! (sorry, coffee stays)
n i wish i could just freeze the time right afterthat..
it will be perfect then

its the happiness-dont-last thing again :(
we always ask for more!!
guess its impossible for human to stay contented for the same damn thing forever isnt it?

only if what human ask for is always simple........

crazy

2011-06-06T00:53:00.000+08:00

yesterday night we actually drive down to curve just to eat green tea ice cream after dinner
how crazy is that
n the worst part is we didnt get to eat the green tea ice cream we want
:(
they said finish edi.............
:(

n the headache since last nite lasts..............

pls pls pls go away!

ive slept for the whole day today and i cant afford to do that again tmr
sigh.....

its a bless

2011-06-01T00:13:00.000+08:00

to reach home from a tiring day
with several mind effing events occured during the day
with tears witheld because you know you've grown up or at least trying to be

to find ur parents expecting you
the bed room tidied
the bear bear smiling
and u realize just before u jump into the shower, there's a clean new towel hung on the rack..
*sniff smell*

just the way you want it to be

its really a bless, only if you have the sight for it. :)

periodically, the panic button. ON

2011-05-29T21:52:00.000+08:00

dont get me wrong
the word "period" doesnt refer to the event occur once a month

im talking about, every half a year ever since i started my college life
n also, ever since i take it seriously (at least im being honest okayy)

i had all the time i need this round
but just doesnt seems like i could appreciate it at all by making use of it efficiently
its true, ppl just want things that they cant have..

what im doing currently is to purposely look for time contraint
-____- what a "genius"

so guess what?
i havent been revising for 3 days already.........................
starts from the day it hits 2 weeks before my exam
the most critical time for revision

conclusion is
im just broken, conceptually.

funny

2011-05-25T19:01:00.000+08:00

how ppl assume that the others are so freaking interested with their personal life
a.k.a busy body!

tell u what,
just because u are, doesn't mean that the rest is just like u..
some ppl is genuinely friendly..

n its okay, u're off the radar!
get a life.

p/s: inspired by FB, a courtesy friend add, and an unsuccessful birthday wish.

kthxbye.

teddy dreams a new member

2011-05-16T02:59:00.000+08:00

really really cute.

2011-05-08T16:00:00.001+08:00

funny morning

i woke up 7:30 n tot it was pm instead of am
shocked me real bad
u know y?
cuz im totally capable of doing that...

i blame the HOT WEATHER OKAY!!!
with that kinda humidity......... well, im defending myself that im not a complete idiot to assume it was evening!!!

so this is what i thought happened when i was awake.........
...........
"oh im sooooooo screwed!"
"it means my parents r angry n gave up waking me up already"
"n what about the routine phone call from apple? did i pick up n say nonsense pretending to be REAL awake.. n then totally have none memories on that anymore?"
note that im totally capable of doing that too..

so i was so nervous, quickly go change n all..
then only slowly realise things doesnt add up when i use the toilet for small business..
n then i double check with my phone.......................

chehhhhhhhhhh
*on air-cond n continue to sleep*

the greatest love is not girl-guy relationship kinda love, no matter how beautiful n tempting it can be..
is that kinda love that raise u up to become a great person
n finally being that great person who notice that love n learn how to pay them back..

Happy Mother's Day!!

simple.

2011-05-07T04:07:00.000+08:00

if one is not searching for an answer,
not recognizing a problem,
not thinking on your behalf...

why give,
why help,
why dont we just love ourselves?

与众不同的寂寞

2011-05-06T02:08:00.000+08:00

并不是在埋怨..
只求明白, 了解, 与及支持..
你的不了解只会让我觉得我什么都做得不够好..
没办法解释了..
感觉上却似在默认你对我的怀疑..
要我的自信.. 怎么撑下去..

我已经很乐观了..
对于你, 我没办法表现坚强..
不管遇到多少的无奈与及哭泣
我都告诉我自己, 要为你对我所付出的一切, 那细心的栽培..
忍耐..............

这才是我想往外跑的原因.. 离开家里对我的期待..
好好地面对, 再找回该有的自信心..
需要的是时间来换回全部..

就让我幻想那梦寐以求的 "明白, 了解, 支持" 吧!

because im a partime housewife ( i sub the work from my mom)

n my "boss" ask me to pick up the laundry from the balcony..

because my brother so happen to have a big ass dslr sitting in his room..

and because i didnt notice the alley behind my house could look this nice too, until now.........

Ultimate Liar

2011-05-02T18:40:00.000+08:00

Lies, the intention to deceive, i loathe,

BUT...

who are you lying to?

if its yourselves,

man,

you're pathetic!

thanx to our spoon feeding culture

2011-04-25T01:03:00.000+08:00

(i admit i caught some too..)

a human can be born a genius
but a human cannot be born to know everything

so, if there's something (perhaps knowledge) that some other possess and u do not..
its ur choice to whether to let it be, or go find out, probe!

so what? if no one is "feeding" u about it
go get it!
that way, u'l realize u earn more than just the knowledge itself..
u've got the right attitude of learning!

i still remember mr.Micheal comment about us Malaysian students in his p3 intensive class
they are mostly true (some cold hard facts just bitch slapped our face.. i seriously have no idea why they can laugh about it), n 1 of it was......
.........
"you Malaysian students are all too shy to ask questions!!! (in a sarcastic tone)"
yes yes we are
here's the thing about Chinese (i wonder if u heard of the 3 naked men joke.. about their choice of action... haha! will come to that at the end of this post)
so, majority.. our biggest concern is>> what if we ask something REAAAALLLY stupid?
there's no hole in the auditorium to hide our face lah!

hell, i AM that kinda "shy" student..
i dont know about others..
but to me, i knew i haven't done enough of my own "homework".. it is why those questions even exist..
so y ask before we done our own "homework"?

say its either lack of confidence or lack of effort.. instead we kept the question in mind n ask it after class...
to mr.micheal.. it is very selfish.. waste of time..
he dont care if we ask foolish question.. he have made it clear, ask away so that he can do his job! more efficiently then if we share!!
so unfortunately what mr.micheal said was also true...
shame on those who ask them after class!

now, get the situation out of the class n what if there are questions pop out in every corner n minute of ur life..
ur own life isnt a subject to be shared..
so there's nobody sharing the same question with you.. without immediate mentor to ask..
do u effortlessly go random pick n ask ppl around u?
or do u find it out urself? n then share it if u find it interesting?
all of above?
or the worst... u just let it be..

which one?

3 naked men joke
an American, a Japanese, n a Chinese got stripped naked n thrown on a street
how will they "utilize" their pair of hands before they reach for help?
American is rational.. they run covering their "brother"..
while Japanese, will just run without covering anything at all.. proud being a men u see..
lastly the Chinese, choose to run covering their face with both hands
"heyyy.. at least nobody can recognize its me after this, right?"

tats how much we care about our reputation!

i might realize all of these not soon enough, but its not too late to change..

surprise :)

2011-04-19T18:31:00.001+08:00

honestly speaking.. i thought im that kinda person that wouldnt enjoy surprises
i love the thought.. its not easy to plan a surprise :)
not that they're unpleasant but it tends to scare me a lil.. n sometimes, abit inconvenient.. haha!

it happens almost every birthday of mine
the most inconvenient wan was during my 21st birthday..
cuz i had my own party planned out n my frens still wanna do something for me
so they decided to get a cake n gifts delivered to my house before the clock strikes 12..
u know how girls like to get comfortable at home?
my sis had to ask me go put on my bra without acting weird.. poor girl.. hahahahah!

well.. this surprise.. makes me go speechless..
a moment cant be described, but i think looked like this..

lol..
it's some brain juice for zombie like me :)

nicely sitting on his desk :)

lol.. 520.13.14. labu berry much <3

p/s: in case u're curious.. the brain juice is coffee larrrr =P

Scream 4, STRESS..

2011-04-15T00:55:00.001+08:00

stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress
................................................................

1 paper only.. stress what? jobless sumore.. cheh!

:(

i need to smack some shuttlecocks again this saturday!

new found love>>> badminton..
sports, how rare... yea well, i hope it lasts..

n i watch SCRE4M last nite
as i have mentioned, courtesy of nuffnang!
first time i actually participate on their lil events ever since i join this ads community
n they gave out badges.. cute!

ghostface voice: "what's ur fav horror movie?"

my horror-est horror movie happens on real life....................
kkk forget about my stress n lets not get too far..

if i were to comment 1 thing about this movie...

i like how Olivia die! =D
(even though she's not the main character)

cuz this kinda movie can never make sense n i thought i might as well just enjoy the killing scene..
right?
oh.. n hot girls got killed.. im right!

无型的压力

2011-04-12T14:28:00.001+08:00

哭过就好了，伤都会好的。
这句话。。。是哪个混蛋说的？

2011-04-08T16:37:00.002+08:00

i have nothing to say but...

OMG STRESS!

ok bye bye.

*im coming...... BRAINSSSSSS!!!!!! *

oh yah! i also won a pair of movie tickets (Scream4) from nuffnang <3 *happy*

yea, im pissed!

2011-04-02T02:59:00.003+08:00

just notice that all the while i have been wearing a bullseye over me..
i move fast, eff off id say!
u see the target but u wont get to me..

because i dont play tricks
i love being who i am
n guessing that ppl who love me, love me for the same reason too
im minding my own business and suggest that those ppl out there should do that too

it happens for quite a while ago but i didnt open my mouth to confirm it because i know the consequences..

here's some picture..
tell me,
what its like to let someone know that a person he once have feelings for have changed or have done things that he cant be possibly proud of.. n he can barely recognise that person anymore?

guilty?
blind sight?

i dont know..
nobody will.. except him..
n its definitely unpleasant..

so, for me to confront THAT and make him feel eff up in exchange of truth for my own interest..
meanwhile, trashing someone n putting my own personality at stake..

thats the limit that i can take..
i swear i will not keep quiet if i find out more of these shits!

now, who's wearing the bullseye?

death and apart

2011-03-23T20:32:00.002+08:00

beautiful song..
the moment i heard of the lyrics i know its not made out of nothing.
its somebody's true feelings being presented as a song
(i dont like the mtv though)
i may not be as romantic
but now i do know what its like to appreciate, and to be appreciated :)

death and apart is still a scary thing to me
i get it, y now the hot topic amongst the youngster is that we sniff-smelt the end of the world
with the frequency of all the natural disasters
a sort of a warning or smtg
but to add this date and that date together we get "the" date in year 2012 followed with a goosebumps
..................................
how wrong is that
isnt 2012 a movie?
THIS i dont get!

i know i am (and most of us are) not as naive to believe in eternity
i prepare for this day to come..
not the end of the world, but death and apart.
maybe not me but ppl around me that i love, or it could simply be me.. leaving ppl behind.. we'll never know..
that's how i learn to appreciate, or to try my best living with no regret

honestly, i hated it when ppl start to talk about the end of the world
how we should enjoy to the fullest etc etc..
because there is end of the life even if there's no end of the world!

which is worse?

well at least when the end of the world finally happens there's no one being left behind
fair.
we'll all just close our eyes for a sec n hey.. meet u on the other side, buddy!

u scold this for having a bad day

2011-03-15T01:52:00.000+08:00

KNNMCBFML

n when i actually feel this way it doesnt sound as funny anymore

i would never wanna be funny that way

here's what happened
its only been the 3rd time driving my own *choked* car out then kena nail d
the whole thing is still so new to me
see i even choked calling it MY car..

so i drove home a flat tyre and cause the whole house a chaos

EMO.
not funny.
i cant laugh.

another self evaluation post (pffftttt.....)

2011-03-09T01:02:00.003+08:00

important question asked, but issue not raised

is that

"u've never put ur mind at ease, y?"

i cant bliv im answering a question with a question in my mind like its necessary for avoidance, or to be in denial..

first reaction was... "ah??? am i? -_____- " (yea, literally with that dont-believe-myself face)
cuz lets face the fact that i am seem to be the most worry free person on earth
im the most unqualified one to feel stressed
im unemployed..
or partime housewife without getting married..
or "measure floor officer"..
watever name u wanna put to call me useless, surprise me!

then i think again
for all that i dont want to be.. n yet i am..
taking advantage of staying relax but in the mean time killing myself by feeling guilty

i cant enjoy it anymore
i realise i cant wait to get out of that
but i dont know how to give myself a stop and then a start
which bothers me so much

i need a guide here.

2011-03-06T07:54:00.000+08:00

insomnia.

well im not sure if its considered as one cuz its all my fault

after this time i must remember not to surrender my crave on coffee if its mid of the night

im still wide awake now......lets hope there's certain someone is not reading my blog..

(or im screwed.. )

so here i am with my laptop on, listening to music n hope i can sleep

n then this song pop out

randomly.

shuffled.

this certain song

with the scent that i wear during the evening outing which lingers on my arm

triggers my memories

n are such strong reminder of certain there n then, the welcoming cozy apartments, the company, the worry free mood, genuine laughter..... (n i can go on forever)

i miss it so much!!!

n i always thought im that kinda person that can never remember details that happened in my life

now i know im not! :)

a break down

2011-03-05T01:58:00.000+08:00

what do u need to get you through a tough day?
and many many more unsettled problems that u're aware of is on its way
like its never ending

i really dont know because thats not me im talking about

depression talking

2011-02-25T16:35:00.000+08:00

happiness... dont last.

which is why i appreciate it
which is why ppl LOVE it
its the simplest thing where ppl find it essential n yet hard to grip

which is why we should all understand that
happiness.. they dont last!!
in order to keep finding them
be so optimistic n tell ourselves its okay if things went downhill today.. cause tmr is a brand new day..
tmr, we'll have a brand new chance to be happy before the day is over

which means

we need to know
happiness dont last
in order to be happy

so conflicting.. so confusing..

scary day

2011-02-21T23:24:00.001+08:00

isn't scary anymore =D

i was so so so nervous okayy!!!
really cant handle disappointment anymore..

n i dont have to!

but this is wat i did during the noon (in denial)
was having my fren over to do facial while knowing that the result is out already.. haha!!
its supposed to be freaking pain..
but i can hardly feel it.. mind was off somewhere...

took this pict when Geri msg me n wish me luck

hahaha!

n when im ready to check results the accaglobal server went down..

sigh...

but so glad that i wasnt alone checking it when i receive it by mail

:) thanx, apple <3

instead, its a happy day!

2011-02-18T20:20:00.000+08:00

seriously.. parents shoudlnt be allowed on FB
look at the amount of ppl i've had to block from viewing my tagged pictures

maybe less compared to u?

ive had nothing to hide..

but still................... *speechless*

consider the "lack of disclosure" in this case a sort of respect from me then..

給我.勇氣

2011-01-28T18:32:00.004+08:00

終於作了這個決定別人怎麼說我不理只要你也一樣的肯定

我願意

天涯海角都隨你去

我知道一切不容易

我的心

一直溫習說服自己

最怕你忽然說要放棄

愛真的需要勇氣

來面對流言蜚語

只要你一個眼神肯定

我的愛就有意義

我們都需要勇氣

去相信會在一起

人潮擁擠我能感覺你

放在我手心裡

你的真心....

如果我的堅強任性

會不小心傷害了你

你能不能溫柔提醒

我雖然心太急　更害怕錯過你

i will remember this forever
that night you held my hand tight, n the walk on the foreign street.
i feel safe. i dont feel empty anymore...

then you asked me to sing you a song
n this song, i whisper to your ear.

愛.. 真的需要勇氣..

CBF?

2011-01-24T02:17:00.000+08:00

i see that coming. im not surprised.

but y find fault?
y complicate the situation?
most importantly, what do i owe?

im not sorry.
i felt relieved.
its finally out there. now i have nothing to hide.

im not cold blooded. it kills me to know that it hurts.
what's worse was that it affected ppl around us.
making ppl feel bad about being who they are n what they did
thats the last thing i want.

i will keep quiet n stay out of the business.
it wasnt even mine to begin with.

oh life is much easier being a bad guy.

oh.. we're too noob for that stuffs..

2011-01-15T20:32:00.001+08:00

i dont normally blog about my hangouts with frens
especially normal weekend's get together..
but it was an abnormal wan last nite -____-

People: Sammie, Lekho, Me. with Simon n Vern join a lil while later
background scene: McD taipan

As usual talking nonsense n all.. laughing at Lekho sending highly inappropriate msg to the wrong Simon regarding to our hangout.. hahahha!
Vern was doing her japanese class homework.. last min sial........

Sammie:   my sis is going to Genting tonight......
Me:         lets go Genting too!
Lekho:   *looked at the time* hey its almost 12 edi
Simon:    i can drive
Vern:      .................... *still doing homework*
Sammie: u can drive my car
Me:         yea we'll split the petrol money :D
Lekho:    guys.... u serious? -____-
Sammie: YEA!!! y not?? adventurous!!!!
Me:        yea!! lets go!! we're not old!!!
Simon:    u ok, i ok..

turn out we're not too old for this stuffs
but too stupid for this stuffs
-______-

first, non of us know the exact way to Genting.. haha!
second, the person who have GPS in his phone thought his GPS expired already
n we kept following the Ipoh way cuz we remember we saw Genting Highland signboard! (the last time we travel to Ipoh)
n then the person who have GPS know its supposed to be the Kuantan way but 3 girls sitting behind of the vehicle said 3 brains is better than 1 brain.. (stressssssS)

so, the Ipoh way is still correct
but its the freaking longer way n its the old road!!!!
n lack of signboards afterthat!!!!!!!!!!

2:00 am
we were driving to no where we find familiar
the last familiar place we knew was Hulu Yam
n it was a while ago already

2:15 am
*awkward silence*
lekho finally turn on his GPS
"ey.. we overshopped lar"
-_______-

between 2:15 to 3am
*tension*
scary DARK road n remember, dont look back!
cuz u wont be able to see anything behind!!!
lekho suggest, "eyy y not we turn off the light n see how that feels"
errr..... worst thing ever!
-______-

3am
reach Genting
all look like crap

to the casino!!!!!!!!
oh.. not really, toilet first.. hahaha!

5am
wL officially lose her voice -____- (sore throat)
Simon, Lekho n Sammie lose their money instead

5:30am
walk around Genting
everyone suggest breakfast!!!
dim sum!!!! back to USJ for that!! YEA!!!!

6 smtg
*quiet car* bunch of zombies
Sammie whisper to Simon, i guess no more breakfast.. we'll just go home..

HAHA!!

reach home 7 plus..
Sammie: "i wish our house r much nearer"
-_____-

just cut me some slack

2011-01-10T17:42:00.000+08:00

ppl see what or how im supposed to be
blind spot is whats hiding behind the tough shell of mine

im happy
but not all the time!
im just a human..
my life is not all about relationship only
families n frens matters much to me too..

i just cant satisfy them all, am i? thats the fact.. but y?

blehhhhh
now i cant wait for my Phuket trip! :)

random shots

2011-01-03T20:48:00.000+08:00

loving black and white

im sorry, its still a boy!

my fav sinful thing <3

consider the finest make up ive ever did... blehhhhh....

my love

this was today's.. already got 3 chipped off (in a lucky manner)..

really its time to trim it!

1.1.11

2011-01-01T05:50:00.000+08:00

what so special about new year?

the most recent eve that ive thrown myself being out of the house was christmas's eve
n trust me, i didnt enjoy at all no matter how hard ive tried
id rather be at home watching series n leave those hang outs to when we have more choices of where to go..
surprisingly i had a contradicting feeling just a few hours before i leap to year 2011
was that i felt lonely
i was at home alone before dear roberto W and alejandro Y pick me up after their dinner
i was wrong
lonely was an awful feeling no matter how much i love my alone time
im glad and consider myself lucky that ive havent been alone for going through all the hard time in year 2010

my fren sammie said her year 2010 was a roller coaster ride
so am i

a break up
a worst CNY ever
a further weight loss
a satisfying results
a better connection with my sister
a great holiday
a few dates not being the usual me
an all fail results
a bad complexion
a dramatic resignation after 2 weeks of employment -___-
a submission, admitting i need help
an OBU degree
a YGFW
an apple
a drive out alone

ppl call me lucky right now but im not!
because only a few out of the list up there was out of control n so i bliv year 2010 could turn out better if i try harder
its got good enough..

thats how i welcome my year 2011. :)

2010-12-31T03:47:00.000+08:00

I hate yelling
Cuz it isn't smart
I don't have a loud voice
But I could,only that it hurt my throat
N everytime when I yelled, it made me grumpy
I don't like the fact that ppl yell in order to be heard
To win an argument
It's really annoying n like I said, it isn't smart
It doesn't require one to agree but simply yelling can shut them up. quite effectively.
Unless u yell back
Oh.. And it has to be louder
More n more n so on
How civilized.

holiday lining up

2010-12-19T01:39:00.004+08:00

so Christmas is around the corner

no feel.

new year

no feel.

CNY

ok larr.. hate CNY song anyway.. so noisy! all the dong-chiang dong-chiang haihsss..
song lyrics are all greeting phrase being arranged together n call it a song! ya ya very prosperous i get it..
the only thing that makes it okay was the angpau.. and friends & family gathering..
n i dont get y cant i just wear flip flop?! ergh! do u know how many times i take out n put on my shoes just in 1 day itself?
well actually i dont know neither.. will get back to u if i count it this coming CNY..

commercialised valentines day

no feel. besides due to the extra word there as u can see..
i would wan to be pampered all the time
so maybe my perfect valentine's day is to have a break from each other
u know? 1 off day a year.. reasonable lar!

i have no idea y!! i used to love them for the sake of being the same as others
which i find it stupid then
cuz it didnt mean anything to me!
its designated as a special day n tats all..

i had to convince myself wats the point of celebrating my own birthday -___-

do u?
know y u celebrate ur fren's bday?

to me its not just to make them happy, but to celebrate their presence!

wait...
MAYBE
i'll love them all in the future when i started working
n all with one n only same.simple.reason! haha!

tell me.

2010-12-14T20:16:00.000+08:00

how to sit for my exam tmr

n to talk about strategy while im living in a strategically failed country.

.........................
ok i admit..
just wanna put some blame on others if i fail.. haha!

emo 9 9

2010-12-06T19:50:00.002+08:00

*disclaimer*
i know ive mentioned that i hate whinny ppl n i still do
but tats wat im gonna do now
this post, i whine
read on ur own risk
i know right.. wth............

first of all
i dont feel like waking up at all today
cause a brand new day means a day nearer to exam.. which is tmr!

then.. i dont feel like studying anymore!
im not sure if i've done enough of preparation already or its a sign that im tired and giving up
lets hope its not the latter

been studying audit paper for tmr n feel like i've forgot everything about corporate report and biz analysis for next week..
im scared.
but also glad that i didnt take 4 papers this sem cause tats insane!

attempting question makes me tired
but shiela said passing audit need about 30% of studying and 70% of doing questions
especially to those who are not working yet
(ME ME ME!!!)

i ~~dont~~ cant even look into the mirror now cause i just did and i tot im having super early menopause
BAD SKIN BAD COMPLEXION BAD EVERYTHING!

and the fact that im blogging here
who does that before exams??
WASTE TIME WASTE EFFORT AND NOT FOCUSING ON WHAT IM SUPPOSED TO!

ok.. time for dinner!

updated:
2 nightmares in 1 night
both failing my paper
great.

2010-12-01T21:28:00.000+08:00

it is comforting to see my old frens returning to college
makes me feel that im not alone
they're all having study break now

which makes me wonder

when should i start working?
although its already quite certain that i'll only worry about that after my results

btw,
canopy walk is awesome!
Sunway Group is so smart okay! i wish they became smart few years ago since i started my college life..
so that i dont need to waste so much money travelling from college to pyramid
those taxi drivers are all money sucker!!!!
now go suck at somewhere else MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

oh.. canopy walk is a path/bridge connected from my college to.... what do u think? PYRAMID!!!

enough.

2010-11-30T01:52:00.000+08:00

i've really gotta start loving myself
even if it means bit by bit

cuz a bit, counts..
a bit, helps..

=S

n after this i've gotta stop talking
instead, start doing..

2010-11-17T02:15:00.001+08:00

RUN!

cuz someone just open the box so old covered with dust that you've hide it somewhere u thought secured..
unconciously.. surprisingly.. ppl found it n now its out there again..

memories..

they're tricky..

if i were to learn from mistake then y do i mind what ppl think now?
they have no idea what's going on with me..
what i feel right.. what i feel wrong.. what i know i want out of the worst that i've ever been through..
all they know is what they think its best..

they care, do they?
unfortunately that perfect girl is just not me..
n then everyone gets the chance to judge based on the things they know only..

so guess what?
i dont talk to everyone, or anyone..
n every once in a while blog post that doesnt make sense to anyone like this will appear here..

yea,
enjoy scratching ur head!

:)

2010-11-16T00:54:00.000+08:00

why are these things on earth?

2010-11-02T07:06:00.002+08:00

the reason y im blogging at this hour is not to get the answer for my question asked above cuz im pretty sure i cant get any answer n even if there is an answer i dont think i can ever accept it..

simply

too traumatised

i can still feel it

*eww eww ewwwww*

underneath my feet

i was studying just right about half an hour ago on my dining table
i thought i stepped on something soft n it didnt feel right
so i look under the table right where i place my feet at
there's something white and small n i thought which idiot have leaking mouth n smart enough to drop a rice on the floor

of course, i didnt bother to pick it up then..

so i continue reading the question.. bla bla bla..
mom woke up.. we talked.. then i continued.. bla bla bla..

after a while more longer i felt another soft thing........
i was sitting straight this time
that soft thing was wiggling.......

so then i looked..

it was a maggot!!!!!!!!!!

mom asked me to pick it up with a tissue n so i did.. unwillingly..
threw it away..

we started thinking where did they come from???

with no doubt, rubbish bin of course!

it didnt take much longer for my mom to open her eyes bigger though..

ACTUALLY THE WHOLE KITCHEN FLOOR IS FULL WITH IT!!!

THE . WHOLE . FUCKING . FLOOR!!!!

mom asked me to swipe the floor but this time i cant take it anymore T_T
found a piece of floor map n stood there.. stoned..

now im in my room..
have my hands and feet washed and sanitised wtf....

still cant help but feeling an itch all over my body..

EWWW EWWW EWWWWWWWW..........

worms like this are much cuter (but probably poisonous)

tell me u pay this kinda attention too!

2010-10-26T23:00:00.000+08:00

was outside of the library.

hungry.

biting buns.

nothing to do so i look around.

n when i turn to my right side,

something so bright i couldnt open my eyes.

its the sun set!!

so simple yet it made my day =)

btw.... *cough*

i only need to climb 3 level of stairs to see such beautiful sunset

tats 1 of the reason y i refuse to go Broga.. HAHAHA!

besides being lazy.. =P

my addiction (a very stupid post, dont read if u dont have spare time for this)

2010-10-15T23:24:00.001+08:00

grey's anatomy

yea i watch loads of series n this is one of the great that i havent get my hands on until few weeks ago
gosh its so funny n of course.. superbly addictive..
even better when u dont need to wait like F* for the next season
its up until season 7 now MUAHAHAHAHAHA
n i've started season 3 already -__- so efficient.. which is REALLY bad..
imagine i would save the last few episodes to watch when im feeling down so that i can cheer myself up
n meanwhile i'll just start from the begining again..
then when i finally finish them all i'll feel sad cuz its like a part of my life have ended with the series/season of the series too
-____-
call me crazy.. but i dont care.. i allow this to happen cuz my life IS uninteresting right now n there's nothing i can do to make it interesting.. shouldnt, actually..

coffee

and i have no comment on this. i dont even know how and why.. i cant remember when was the first time i tasted them n when i started to want to drink it again.. and again.. AND again.. until i realise im already addicted.. damn...........
im pretty sure my mom is responsible for this!
she's the only one at home who drinks coffee besides me..
n my fault for sipping her coffee.. hahaha!

Facebook

really.. maybe humans are born to be so busy body n thanks to the genius who founded this evil networking website, everyone is out there logging in to find out every possible details of their fren's life being published in it..
WITHOUT having others to notice that u're actually so busy body.. yea we're chinese we care about our "face" alot! hahaha!
its like everyone is blogging, not in words but in a formatted way..
im not saying that its totally useless.. tat's how ppl stay connected nowadays when hanging out is not possible or cant be as often anymore..

my addiction to facebook is not only that.. but those evil lil game/applications!!
id like to hug my dear fren foong vern that we're finally over it! hahaha! adrian too, maybe?
we were so addicted to those games!!
Happy Farm, Fishville, Medical Mayhem, Restaurant City, Yoville, and MORE!
n all of them need "high maintenance".. meaning we need to log in at least few times a day per application..
especially Happy Farm..
for those who dont play this stupid game.. those vege we planted needed to be harvested once its ready or ppl from ur fren list could steal it.. n im not talking about the minute its ready.. but second!!! miss it and its gone stolen by those evil bustards!
imagine ppl who prioritise sleeping time like me are willing to wake up to harvest my stupid happy farm??
or, time myself to steal other ppl's harvest.............................. (im one of the evil bustards too u know? haha!)
oh n dont get me started on what happen when streamyx went cuckoo..
WE DIE!!!!!!!!
oh wait i think i smsed fv/adrian to help me harvest.. HAHAHAHAH!

and i remember how this cracks me up

the bubble dialogue written "i heard its bcuz he stole our bosses's vege" hahaha!

2010-10-04T15:09:00.000+08:00

got my OBU results and i am now a degree holder..
this is the only thing that are on the right track for me now

but i dont feel proud about it at all..
frens who know me well should know why..

instead, it made me feel that what i've been wanting to achieve is still so far..
can i consider this my last shot?
cuz i really cant imagine how i can handle another failure.. ever..

an update?

2010-09-29T11:51:00.000+08:00

the pressure that i felt
its been given unnecessarily n yet i cant ignore it.. impossible to, actually..
the only way i can feel better is to not do anything about it at all
but it could ruin me..

coming from someone who clearly know she's short of some good EQ

comic-fied

2010-09-17T22:39:00.001+08:00

shaded my hair.. lol

in the process of editing :)

invert that n cheat a darker shade.. (i blame my pencil >.<)

not very alike but still ok lar right? =P

i guess i've accidentally buried this passion of mine somewhere deep and dark, which not meant to be found in any way ever again..

until few weeks back an old fren of mine reminded me what i used to do during high school

(all the time, including minor vandalisme.. hahaha!)

sad to say, it wasnt encouraged back then

n still totally useless right now..

i drew this while i was studying *cough*

mom walks in n i showed her proudly.. hahah..

she said mayb i really did choose the wrong course..

n then quickly say "nolah.. hor?"

hahahha!

yes, i didnt.. this is way far from being professional

n cant get me a job! ='(

age.

2010-09-15T20:35:00.031+08:00

as i was so free during work, i then decided to waste part of the time away by deleting old msges..
so i saw the msg i sent to B last sunday.
it was a reply to her for asking me to have fun..
n i said im old d. not going anywhere cuz i cant hang out everyday like how we used to be anymore.

BUT i realise this is wat we always do..
we look at the younger ones n feel old
n the older ones look at us n feel old
then when will we ever feel young???!

or is it just human nature to whine?
gosh i hate whiny ppl.. i mean, once in a while is fine but all the time is annoying!

cuz i know deep down, we always knew where we stand. as for comparison.
old or young.
pretty or ugly.
fat or thin.

a winner or loser.

just make sure while u're expecting the worst, dont get addicted on playing others' expectation as well.

back to age. we're all getting older. we're all dying.
its just the matter of when only.. hahaha! *choi choi choyyyy*
n wat u choose to experience while u're living it.
damn.
im 23 and still havent have my life quite figured out.
....
i hope being in 20s are the common grey area of having one truly defined
n 1 day i'll be able to laugh at what im writing right now.

AND btw. this im sure i wont be able to laugh.. but feel super gross..
i wonder who pick the tiles in my office's toilet when they were building it..
must be some kinda idiot or freaking perv..
cuz its black/grey n shinny so guess what?
it reflects like mirror
wtf.
dont the other girls realise it? -____-

oh.. or maybe im the only 1 who were THIS free to observe toilet tiles??
*nods* maybe.......
maybe..

lastly, im changing from this

one of the most valueable things i acquired from my most recent trip (n b4 it burst..haha!)

to this

pls tell me i didnt spoil the pict. (with the blings) -___-

in my wallet :)

incapable of getting things right at the first time

2010-09-09T21:56:00.002+08:00

but to look at it on the bright side, i've never give up!
not on anything that im not supposed to..

so hey, apple..
thanx.. =)

a card traveled across few hundred miles without any stamps
of course its special!
dont worry it wont end up being my daily craving's sacrifice - coffee cup coaster.. hahahaha!
...... ok im not that awful..
as ive told u many times before.. u can quit worrying about me.. =P
n of course i havta thanx Jax n Pz too.. or this wouldnt b here with me now..

i know what to do..
just hopefully this time round i can find the right way to do it..

p/s: since there're already few who brought this matter up.. im gonna clarify it here -___-
im not all sad, emo n gloomy like this in my blog.. which i dont think i am for all blog posts.. oh well.. if i do, i blog that way cuz im not like that at all!!
hey, i need to release the emo-ness somewhere rite..
cuz to me, its either go out n have real fun, laugh, talk shit... or dont go out at all if i wont be able to enjoy it..
i choose to deal with it on my own n blogging it is 1 of the way
so let me!!

seriously?

2010-09-02T19:24:00.002+08:00

*click to enlarge*

my intended prank became a booty call..

followed by tons of misscalls n text msgs from him..

from last nite, UNTIL JUST NOW!

i really didnt mean to trick him into this

cuz that girl really doesnt look like me AT ALL!!!

i expect him to not even bliv in my 1st reply lor..

gosh!

n i definitely felt so insulted that he belived i do one night stand..

p/s: i dont see the reason y i should protect his privacy while he dont even protect himself from getting HIV or any other kind of STDs..

from what i know a million years back when we still keep contact,

is that he's a crazy two.three.four-timer

but now? upgraded..

good luck, man..

dream

2010-08-31T22:57:00.001+08:00

what's ur dream?
(not those nonsense that happen after u tuck urself in ur bed)

it takes courage to admit those dreams
cuz it could be something so great that when it comes true
it will take away all ur pain..

even if u know it may not. or, will not. stand a chance to come true.

i would say many of our dreams are too luxury compare to those who are less fortunate
so id just like to take this chance of realising how lucky am i..
appreciate what ive got..

n move on to focus on my own . achievable . dream!

im forced to say, "dont worry, im fine =)"

2010-08-27T00:39:00.001+08:00

no.. im not good enough to pass last round
n i've decided not to request for a review on my results..
but of course, its not the time to give up yet
as i told many of my concerning friends before
my parents havent (surprisingly)
n so do i..
thats important n all i need to know now..

but what hits me real bad is that i start to doubt if i have what it takes to be in this part of professional industry..

i know what to do its just that..
4.
is alot.. i cant help but to feel like its such a long way to me now..

i cant describe my feelings

2010-08-23T02:34:00.002+08:00

so i dug my heart out its red and its pumping real fast

it looks cute n i havta crush it!

please.... p2 n p7.. p2 n p7.. p2 n p7..
F* p3..
......
just p2 n p7.. p2 n p7.. p2 n p7................

(not so) interesting....................

2010-08-18T19:06:00.001+08:00

i was going through debtor account today during work and i saw this name
LXX Nin Teck..............
HAHAHAHAHA!

ok thats lame...

but whats lamer is that i learnt this thing from work..
is to slow down.....................
or u'll end up have nothing to do and havta pretend that u have something to do..
its not so easy for me since my station is new n quite empty T_T
so i actually complete the work in 3 hours when it can be done in 1 n half hour..
how efficient...

i actually paused n paused n paused...
n then at 1 point of time i even write out what i plan to do with my pay check...
HAHAHAHAH!

-___-

yea.. thats my day..

1st yawnnnn day of work

2010-08-16T20:40:00.002+08:00

filing.. loads of filing.. paper work.. key in data..... f*king loads of key in data.........
im officially a cheap labour!
okok.. no complaint.. as long as i have my own plan >.<
i shall wait for the monthly reward..

N NEXT WEEK RESULT OUT LEH WTF!!!!

mayb thats the reason y im not nervous at all today..
in fact i find it ~~hard~~ almost impossible to top..
hahaha!
n the worst part is that i wont be able to go online during work..
-_____-
oh im gonna suffer like hell for sure...

AND, the next thing im gonna do to is to shop for junk foods
LOADS OF THEM!
so that i'll be happy during work >.<

p/s: dance floor anthem

everybody! put up ur hands

say i dowanna be in love

i dowanna be in love

feel the beat now

if you've got nothing left

say i dowanna be in love

i dowanna be in love

back it up now!

u've got a reason to live

say i dowanna be in love

i dowanna be in love

feeling good now

dont be afraid to get down

say i dowanna be in love

i dowanna be in love~~

Uploaded with ImageShack.us

bank draft tragic!

2010-08-12T22:24:00.000+08:00

the whole idea of buying bank draft early is to promptly pay the freaking exam fees..
but who knows the recipient would cash it in THAT late..
i feel like i could kill all the administrator in OBU man..

and when i email to enquire about the reason of the bank draft being rejected..
this is what they reply

Dear Student,

Unfortunatley I do not know the reason why it was rejected only that it was not processed.

AND THEN i decided to pay by credit card.. (with details all given to the administrator.)
n of course i ask for the physical bank draft to be mailed back to me.
letting my 85 pounds go into drain just doesnt make sense..
n i've asked the bank n they're certain that they need it in order to purchase it back from me..
and i couldnt do anything with just the copy bank draft purchase form.
then again.. this is what they reply

Dear Student,

I don’t have the bank draft the finance department do. I can only ask but may not get it back.

OH SO HELPFUL!!!!
i am speechless!

can i go die now?

2010-08-12T03:33:00.001+08:00

cuz i dont feel like sleeping n i dont think i can
not until i settle it!

WTF IS WRONG??!!!

will a bank draft went out of date?????
i wish the whole world is awake right now to answer my question..
OMFG!!

how??? does that mean that the money i paid to buy the bank draft just "poooof!" as in GONE just like that????
ok i bought that bank draft begining of the year, January.. luckily im still keeping the copy of the form..
but i pass it to my mentor right after i bought it!!!
shouldnt she know about it????
i'll havta make an alternative payment to OBU before 20th Aug..
that will cost me another 85 pounds man!!!!
its just not fair!

i guess i'll stay awake until the bank open... later..
oh i might as well camp infront of Hong Leong..
n im cursing F*ck X100000000000000000000000000 right now!

random

2010-08-10T00:36:00.002+08:00

first, my aircond is dripping water n its way more irritating than i've ever thought of..
its like footsteps.. but sharper..
n it is tempting me into sleeping in the living room tonight..

second, i found a pict of me in Bonodori from my brother's cam
n i like it!

tadaaa!

n those are my brother's frens behind.. we were having our dinner there on the floor..

LOL

third, was watching this video clip n the song they use sounds really familiar..
n most importantly, i like it.. so i listen to the lyrics really carefully n googled it..
turn out its a song that The Bustard used to play quite often in his player..
recognised it after i listen to the full version..
n what the heck.. it reminds me of him but he dont own it..
*downloaded!*

bimbo moment

2010-08-05T16:32:00.001+08:00

dear whoever or watever im wishing upon,
please give my screwed up life a hope..

i want a decent temporary job..
2 weekdays n 5 weekends a week is giving my ass an itch!!

n also take away my after effect of bitchiness..
i realise i cant even spare a smile to strangers with an open heart anymore..

oh.. was it just me or my legs are really fatter now?

n give me the courage to drive alone too when im ready..
or a 'lil luck of not meeting mad cow drivers like my dad on the road will do..

most importantly, wish me luck for the job interview tmr!!
mhm... what should i wear? hehehe..
ok.. this 1 is not bimbotic.. how much should i say if they ask whats my expected salary???
gosh.................

ugly truth

2010-08-03T19:52:00.003+08:00

leaving questions and ppl unattended is not wat i can do
u kept asking me n so obsessed with what went wrong..
fine i'll tell from the top to bottom
n i hope this complete version will stop u from asking n do watever u're trying to do

1st, i really like u when everything was fine..
spending time everyday was fun n i really thought we could try being together
but u kept proving to me that we cant..
u promised to settle ur ex things after exam n u know how it goes..
it sucked right to the hell..
i mean what kinda ppl come after a girl while u n ur ex is still talking about getting back together?
u know that its unfair for me n u didnt appreciate me back then..
u took my understanding for granted.
i was there for u cuz i can know how hard it is to end a 5 years relationship twice..

but not anymore when u cant fulfil wat u've promised.
n even worst, u TOLD ME U WANNA GIVE UP when i asked u what u want!!!!
i mean its fine if tats true..
but its NOT! when u cant even afford to lose me..
so learn how to shut up! or think before u speak..

and then u promised me u'll wait for me till im back from melbourne..
n u'll settle u n ur ex stuffs in that 3 weeks
but guess what?
u were not even sure if u could do that.. do u need me to remind u what u've said?
"haha.. is 3 weeks enough?"
.............WTF IS THAT????
n remember wat u ask me to do??????
u ask me to think hard if i really wanna be with u..
u said im not supposed to be in the middle of all these stuffs n u're damn right..
u even said that YOU urself need to consider it as well.. please.....................

n then i happily left melbourne with u sending me off
happily uploaded our picts together in FB
happily tagged u..

n what?
u untagged it just because ur ex called u in 1 fucking morning n said her sis could've read the comments..
so when will u learn how to stand up for me?
yes the comment about getting drunk is improper but guess what
YOU DID GOT DRUNK BEFORE N BE A MAN TO ADMIT IT!
doing a small favour for her is a fucking lame excuses..
please, saving ur ass n protecting ur reputation is wat u want..

so please dont say that u've done alot for me..
u wouldnt have end things with ur ex if i didnt email u all those stuffs n shoot the sense right into ur head after the untag pict incident..
the funniest thing is that u even asked me back y i tagged u in the picts..
wth.. do i need a reason to?

so whats the big deal if u call me everyday in melbourne?
what so surprising if i miss u less n less each day over there?
cant u see why is that happening???

for whatever that happened till the story here..
it havent end whats left between us
n im not angry! just dissapointed..
so the question of y am i cold to u when im back is a stupid question
cuz ask urself what have u done!!!!!

i could forgive u for everything that i've mention above.. but not forget..
cuz then u did try to make it right.. but u just cant see that its too late!

n ur expectation
u expect me to accept u right away.. wtf is that?
i need more respect than that.. i have pride.. u didnt even remember what u've done..
i said i need time n wat did u give me?
u kept pushing n pushing until i lose my temper..

TATS WHAT THAT END THINGS BETWEEN US!

i've tried so hard to be nice to you
talk to you until u understand wats going on here with me..
but you just couldnt get it!!!

u only know how to be sad for my rejection instead of looking at ur own mistake..
u tell me how much u want me to be happy but u cant wait to get urs too which is to be together with me..

u dont know anything about being in a relationship
we do not have different perspective!!
this is how its supposed to be.. nobody shall be forced to be with another!!!

n WTH is wrong with u for even asking me to couple with u till november???!!!
there's no such thing as try out period!
n wats there to even think about when ive already made it clear to u that I DONT WANT A BF AT THIS POINT IN TIME!!!

n u have the nerve to tell me that u only thought of how much u wanna be with me
n forgot to think that i might not want to be with u..
waiting for me like an idiot..
OMG!

n how u want me to not feel like a bitch?
when all i can do now is being ungrateful for what u've done..
u think about it...

for all that happened..
what a bouquet of flowers can do?
what a belated bday gift can do?
what a green tea frap delivery can do?
MAGIC?????

dont come calling me after u read this cuz i wont pick it up until we're on the same page again..
friends or no friends, ur call!
n im sorry that i havta do it here..

birthday surprise? haha!

2010-08-03T00:26:00.001+08:00

mom walks in my room with an ang pau
n say its my birthday in 5 more mins..

n i went 0.o.......... r u kidding me?

then she said its chinese calendar birthday.. LOL!
23rd June..

:)
so i guess the best birthday surprise is when u hav no idea that its ur bday at all.. hahaha!

self snap with instax mini =P

2010-08-01T23:41:00.001+08:00

LOVE!

things that i need you to know

2010-07-30T02:31:00.001+08:00

this post is dedicated to one that fate once brought us together
n unfortunately, it also tear us apart..

i know u'll be reading this..
although it might not matter anymore.. but i know i should still blog it anyway..

it is not true that i didnt miss u at all in Melb..
i did.. but i guess it is just not so convincing.. since i know that i was only gonna be there for 3 weeks n i mean it when i said im gonna put everything behind n enjoy..
n putting everything behind includes whatever "unhappy" that happened before i left..
i didnt expect or realise that it shuts my heart off as well..

thanx for trying to put my happiness ahead of yours..
thanx for the flowers u bought to welcome my return from the long vacation..
n i havent have the chance to thank u properly for the belated birthday present u gave me..
as u know, i really like it..

yes the camera will continue to snap happy moments

i'll post every pict that i took up here in my blog..

sorry that things couldnt work out between us..

i didnt mean to waste the time n effort u've put to win me back..

so let me go..

i'll be glad to be friends with u but not like this..

not when i know its just the matter of time, that u'll have it backfired..

look what we've done

2010-07-28T21:46:00.002+08:00

i feel like my head is gonna explode..
what should i do?

nothing.

cuz after i think it through over n over again
i find it wasnt that complicated afterall..

so a better question,
how?

a person's pride is not for anyone to mess with
n i shud know it best..

have i changed?

2010-07-21T16:28:00.002+08:00

maybe..

cuz people change everyday, n all the time.. but sometimes it is just not so noticable..

in the case of relationship..
currently i felt that im back to myself a few years ago..
back before i met my ex..
that girl who couldnt open her heart to anyone at all..
whenever things get serious, i bail...

except that now i understand more about loving someone..
n cant ignore the fact that when things turn ugly n u start to hate,
it'll be as deep as the love u've once given out.
plus, hurt.. it takes time to heal..

i realise i cant affort all that right now..

i've told few of my close friends that im surprise i could start seeing someone so soon
not in a relationship, but simply dating..
last sem.

n it didnt turn out as great as i thought it should be..
happy..
but too much to handle..

i have not lose my faith in love.
just not ready yet..
not willing to put myself in vulnerable condition anymore
n realise that i need to protect myself, by myself..

im back!

2010-07-16T18:34:00.000+08:00

just had the best holiday ever for 3 weeks
n blog being abandoned for 3 weeks as well..

i thought i would've at least update it once or twice a week there but turn out i didnt have the time.. haha!
need not to explain..
y would i waste the time i have there in front of the PC?? =P

im lucky n glad that sam n her frens were all having winter break during my stay
or all the day trips will not happen =)
n less party or hangout definitely.. hehe..

n cant bliv that i didnt talk to my parents at all for that 3 weeks -____-
but i did try calling okayyyyy..
feel so bad when i receive the first call once i've landed
it was from my dad T_T
he remember exactly what time i reach Malaysia
eventhough it wasnt him who pick me up from the airport..

:)
home sweet home!
now i cant wait to get my results..

as at 6pm of 22nd June

2010-06-22T18:14:00.000+08:00

my emotions took a roller coaster ride this few days
i wasnt prepared.
there're too many things didnt work out as planned.

but now im back!!!
suddenly i remember how much i've wanted this..

just 1 girl, 2 luggages, and 1 purple doggie leaving Malaysia with loads of fun ahead :)
3 weeks it is!
bubbyeee~~

a day out with my B

2010-06-18T06:20:00.001+08:00

hesitated for the title of this post

because i blogged about what i did EVERY-friggin-DAY for the last holiday..

n i kinda like it..

but thinking that i'll have self-claim longer holiday this round makes me goes..

............. heh! forget it..

so i had a great day out with my B..

im getting a lil strange feelings about how often we get close n then drift apart due to minding our own business, THEN get close again.. on and on..
she used to know everything about me..
so for now, sometimes i'll forgot which story i have not fill her in n go on telling her stuffs which might confuse her..
haha!

a pict of us before the kepo guard ban us from taking picts

it's padini concept store lar wtf.. as far as i know even Vincci steal designs..

i dont see whats the logic behind this policy to prevent design leak out

plus, its a stupid white frame specs!

btw, she squat n i tip toe

pathetic as usual T_T

other than having our own concert in Redbox

we watched Sex and The City2

i think i laughed non stop for the entire show

gosh i really love Samantha.. i wonder if there's actually such interesting person on earth..

fashion and fabulous life style is everything about the show too

not my story to tell though.. its for u to watch =D

anyway, tats it for now!

orange nails!!! no it doesnt look as nice in real T_T

delicious like a cupcake =3

this will be the last, and i shall i let it go

bitter.sweet

shakira's illegal

the balance

If im still a student

strange feeling

逞强的后遗症

romantic.. fail? haha!

says it all

a thankful heart

slap my blur face

lemmi try

pocket sized pict 3

Life is a torture chamber itself

pocket sized pict 2

追。赶。输。累

pocket sized pict

behind the scene

coffee . love

wL's agonizingly boring & simple thoughts

make up dilemma

short-fused

its... sunday... already....

i know i talk like im so damn old already, but...

学会珍惜

insomnia

loud n clear

its harder than i think it is

LDR

i truly believe

exam stress

crazy

its a bless

periodically, the panic button. ON

funny

teddy dreams a new member

simple.

与众不同的寂寞

Ultimate Liar

thanx to our spoon feeding culture

surprise :)

Scream 4, STRESS..

无型的压力

yea, im pissed!

death and apart

u scold this for having a bad day

another self evaluation post (pffftttt.....)

a break down

depression talking

scary day

給我.勇氣

CBF?

oh.. we're too noob for that stuffs..

just cut me some slack

random shots

1.1.11

holiday lining up

tell me.

emo 9 9

enough.

:)

why are these things on earth?

tell me u pay this kinda attention too!

my addiction (a very stupid post, dont read if u dont have spare time for this)

an update?

comic-fied

age.

incapable of getting things right at the first time

seriously?

dream

im forced to say, "dont worry, im fine =)"

i cant describe my feelings

(not so) interesting....................

1st *yawnnnn* day of work

bank draft tragic!

can i go die now?

random

bimbo moment

ugly truth

1st yawnnnn day of work